Where do I belong…..? 

Kiran was a beautiful child with very fair complexion and an innocent face. However, her behaviour was odd. She was not able to take anything seriously and would roam about aimlessly. Her parents were very poor and with five other children, there was hardly any time for them to notice her disability. 

For the girls in the poor families to get married it is more important to be beautiful than be educated. When she was 16 years of age her father started looking for a match for her. He also thought that marriage would also cure her wandering ways. 

Her good looks soon found an admirer and she was married off in a hurry. The husband found it impossible to bind her in any emotional bond and after 4 months she was back with her parents.  

She was not received very kindly by her parents and soon her father fixed up her marriage once again. The marriage would have ended earlier but for the fact that she was pregnant. Her in-laws waited for the baby girl to be one year old and once again she was packed off to her parent’s house. There was no legal divorce and Kiran’s parents being very poor had no means of getting into legal proceedings also there is no social organization that would help in such cases. 

Kiran knew that there was something wrong with her and she wanted to get treated. One of her husbands even sent her some money for her treatment but that was never utilized for the purpose. Kiran’s behaviour became worse. She would walk out of the house any time and would return after a few days. The entire family was ashamed of her. There was the social stigma and the people were talking. 

Her father found yet another match for her in a far away state thinking that he would be able to get rid of her permanently. Her husband, Prem Nath was a farmer. He was already married but had no children from the first wife. 

In a span of four years, Kiran gave birth to a boy and a girl. However, her behaviour remained the same. Prem Nath having children of his own now sent Kiran back to her parents. Kiran’s condition worsened. Her parents kept up with her wayward ways and finally shut the door for her. 

Kiran would now accompany anyone who could give her food and shelter and became pregnant. Soon there was no one who desired her. She would sit on the roadside waiting for some help which never came.  

She was lying helpless for many days on the roadside when someone rang up Pingalwara describing her pitiable condition. When approached, she was not aware of her surroundings and kept on humming something or the other. Repeatedly she would ask for a cigarette.  

When put in an ambulance she hardly offered any resistance and kept on babbling on her way to the institution. 

Under medication and care her condition improved very fast. She was also able to recollect telephone number of one of her relatives. When contacted her relative told that there was no hope of any help from her parents or the husbands. 

After a few weeks in Pingalwara she gave birth to a healthy and beautiful boy. She is deeply attached to him. Perhaps for the first time she knows that she will not be separated from her child. Kiran is aware of her situation and is keen to start working and be on her own feet. She would need constant support, medication and care.